People Archives - Page 5 of 108 - Sonia Marsh

Too Many Distractions in the U.S.

February 26, 2017 by Sonia Marsh 9 Comments

Life in the U.S. is full of distractions; that’s probably not news to you, but it does come as a shock after living in a rondavel in Lesotho, where my only distractions were the sounds of roosters crowing at 4 a.m., donkeys braying day and night, dogs defending their territories, and Basotho villagers yelling across the corn fields. I used to think the people were angry, but soon learned that shouting is a normal way of communicating in my host country.

It’s only been five weeks since I returned from Lesotho, but somehow it feels like six months. I’m so busy; my calendar is full, as I fill my days with job searching, appointments, networking, workshops, Rosetta Stone Spanish, brushing up on “free” online courses required for certain positions, meeting family and friends for lunch or dinner, and let’s not forget dating.

I’m not even working a full-time job, but it certainly seems like it. I’m all over the place, and one luxury I appreciate more than any other, is the freedom to drive myself. I no longer have to rely on the unpredictable, overcrowded, public taxis from my African village. Transportation in Lesotho was a huge stress factor in my life. I never knew when the public taxi would show up on the dirt road. Even in the middle of winter, when frost covered the red soil outside my rondavel, I would keep my front door open just to hear the sound of the old Toyota engine ascending the steep hill leading to my village. With all my gear ready to go for my weekly shower and grocery shopping, I would scurry through my one door, key ready to turn the lock on my burglar bars, while attempting to fling my backpack straps over my shoulders. Out of breath, I would reach the red-clay road only to discover that I’d mistaken the engine sound of the Toyota taxi. Looking down the hill into the distance, I’d scan the area for a white van with a yellow stripe. When my finger tips grew numb, despite being cuddled inside hand-knitted gloves, I headed back to my burglar bars, and started the whole waiting process again.

Taxi van in the distance from my rondavel.

You see, I am not suffering from “culture shock,” like some of my friends have stated, but rather from too many distractions. I love being busy, meeting people, having interesting conversations with people, and even the friendly quick chat with cashiers at Trader Joe’s. These were lacking in my life in Lesotho, especially as I was unable to speak their language.

There are so many things to do and see in our world in the U.S. Information overload, too many courses to choose from, classes to attend, whether exercise classes or professional classes, movies, theater, concerts, wonderful shops and malls, exciting foods to buy, excellent customer service, so many choices we take for granted, but not me.

I enjoy my freedom to do what I want to, to drive where I want to go, to watch a recent movie, to meet a friend for a cup of coffee, to eat at a restaurant, to go for a stroll on the beach, and most of all, to be distracted.

I’m grateful for my distractions, because after all, how do we grow? Here we can keep learning and we have the freedom to do whatever we want to improve our skills and to create our own lives. I had enough quiet time in my rondavel that I longed for all the things we take for granted in our comfortable lives in the U.S.

My Recent Dating Story You Won’t Want to Miss

February 19, 2017 by Sonia Marsh 27 Comments

It all started when I parked my car and noticed a skinny man pulling into the space across from mine in an old Buick. I picked up my pace thinking, I hope that’s not him.

We agreed to meet at “Mother’s Kitchen” and I entered through the sliding doors and pretended to look at the chocolates and candy and all the flowers as it happened to be Valentine’s Day.

I’d just finished a job meeting with the Director of International Student programs at a local university, and felt like I’d accomplished something, so I called Jon to say, “Let’s meet for coffee.”

I could tell it was Jon, my date, heading towards the sliding glass doors of the health food store. He looked to his left, as though not sure if he should enter. I waved from inside, and thought, he looks skinny and tall like his photo. What I hadn’t anticipated, as it did not show on the profile photo of Match.com, were the long protruding, gray, nostril hairs, and the bushy uni-brow. His white shirt, and gray, dress slacks were the same as his profile photo, as though he wore the “dating” uniform, just in case I could not recognize him.

I’m not picky about men, except for height, and being in fairly good shape. I did, however, notice his old-fashioned, white shirt, frayed along the collar, which looked as outdated as his car.

Jon, a “marketing” engineer, something I’d never heard of before, sat down at a table, and proceeded to talk about nothing but himself. When I asked him what does a marketing engineer do?, he said he was no good at it, and that he was semi-retired, and writing a book about dating. No kidding, you’re a nerd, I thought, no way are you a sales and marketing person. I thought I would give him ten minutes to talk about himself, and then perhaps he would get me involved in the conversation. But no.

“Have you even read my profile?” I asked, interrupting him while he told me about his book on dating.

“Yes,” he said, and continued talking about how he wrote five, “you’s” in his first paragraph, and managed to eliminate two of them, as there were just too many “you’s,” but he had to keep the other three, as the paragraph wouldn’t make sense without them. He then switched to how he can obsess over the wrong word choice for three days, until his sister, who lives with him, helps him decide. “And she’s in the writing industry, “ he continues.

“You know I’ve been coaching authors on how to publish and promote their books for many years. Do you have a publisher?” I ask.

“Oh, my sister is an expert,” he continues, “she’s an author,” lettuce falling out of his mouth while munching on his rabbit salad without dressing, and his tofu side-dish. No wonder he weighs about 150 pounds at 6’5”

“How many books has she sold?”

“She sold 4 or 5, and you just wait, I’m going to be the next millionaire when I sell my book. You’ll be happy you met me.”

That was the moment when I got off my chair, and said, “You are arrogant and self-centered, and no wonder you’ve never been married. I’m leaving.”

I’m so proud of my gutsy self. I stood up, told him what I thought, and said, “Here’s money for my tea.” He was so into himself, he continued bragging about his dating book and then it clicked that I was leaving. He didn’t know whether to stand and bow, or stay seated and choke on his tofu. So he raised himself off the chair, and said, “I’ll pay for your tea.”

“I’m Looking For a Job: Can You Please Help?”

February 6, 2017 by Sonia Marsh 12 Comments

Looking for a job in the U.S., after being a Peace Corps volunteer in Lesotho, has forced me to re-program my brain, which is why I’m asking for your help. (Photo of my first networking event the day after I landed in the U.S.)

The minute I stepped off the plane at LAX, I realized I’d have to put on my Usain Bolt legs to keep up with the pace of my fellow passengers. Why does everyone sprint? In my rural village in Lesotho, I was known as the fast walker, but now my legs appeared to be letting me down. (No jokes about an aging body please.)

The competitive spirit hit me as I accelerated to fit the fast pace of the western world and aimed for the immigration officer before everyone else. Why am I striving to beat everyone to this imaginary finish line? There is no medal for first place.

My second shock occurred when I set up my laptop enjoying the luxury of never-ending Wi-Fi. I no longer had to buy vouchers from Vodacom for data. With e-mails cramming my inbox, I’d forgotten the turn-around speed of e-mails in my new environment. In Lesotho, I would get an e-mail, ponder over it for a few days, and reply when I felt like it. Back in California, if I don’t reply within 5 minutes of receiving an e-mail, I may be losing an opportunity.

The third culture shock I had to face, was the skill of talking fast, and having a 30-second elevator pitch ready. It seems that marketing yourself is a MUST in the society we live in today where we are constantly trying to either sell our skills or make ourselves seem brilliant and indispensable.

We need to hook our potential employer, even our potential online dates, with a PITCH. Basically, everything is about marketing ourselves; what has this world come to? No wonder we are so obsessed with ourselves! Even dating has become a 30-second elevator pitch.

I’m by no means a slow, lazy, person. In fact, I’m quite surprised at the things I’ve accomplished in the two weeks I’ve been back. I’ve:

Bought a car
Got insurance, both health and car
Attended the Publishers, Writers San Diego meeting on how to create book buzz.
Attended a business networking meeting where elevator pitches were flowing like the wine, and business cards exchanged from hand to hand
Attended my niece’s wedding
Joined Match.com, and attended a singles happy hour with one of my friends, plus a few dates
Met my ex-boss for lunch and was offered a valuable contact for a job opportunity
Got offered a job at a French cafe in Newport Beach
Got offered work a few nights and weekends a month with an event planner at the Newport Beach Library with their author events
Meeting friends who are offering suggestions on resume writing, business coaches, and contacts
Getting my rental room organized
Loving Amazon prime, I won’t tell you how exciting it is to order something and receive it promptly

So writing a resume is not only difficult, but adapting it to various positions, especially when your interests and skills are all over the place. Why couldn’t I just be a dentist, or an accountant? It would be so much easier to pin-down specific jobs, rather than looking at what I have to offer, and saying:

“Help! What mold do I fit in?”

So that’s exactly what I’m doing. What mold do I fit in? Please help me define a job, and if you know a person who might need my skills, I’d love to have a contact name.

My skills and experience

Networking and connecting with people
Presentation and communication skills
Tri-lingual (French, English and Danish)
Recruitment and mentoring
Ability to clearly convey information, including to multi-cultural audiences
Project management
Research and report writing
Interviewing
Social media and blogging
Critical thinking and problem solving
Marketing and promoting
Professional, adaptable and flexible
Ability to overcome challenges
Fundraising and project management working on a sustainable school renovation project in Lesotho, Africa

If you would like my resume, please e-mail me at: Sonia@soniamarsh.com

As they say, the Peace Corps requires you to be flexible, adaptable, and to overcome challenges. They also require patience, and I have to say coming back to the fast pace of Orange County, California, leaves little time for patience.

Starting A New Chapter in My Life

January 8, 2017 by Sonia Marsh 51 Comments

After exactly 15 months in Lesotho, I decided after several months of reflection, to start a new chapter in my life. I’m returning to the U.S., and looking forward to seeing my sons more often, and being with so many supportive friends.

Before I get into the reasons why I decided to start a new chapter, I want to thank the Peace Corps for giving me the opportunity to experience work and life in rural Lesotho, and to especially thank the Peace Corps Lesotho staff, including the wonderful Country Director, Wendy VanDamme.

Starting a new chapter in my life — Sonia with Country Director, Wendy VanDamme.

I loved practicing my French with, Dr. Olga and Dr. Alex, and of course I wish to thank all the other wonderful staff members I haven’t mentioned, who helped me during my service.

I was so lonely in my rondavel and had moments where I yearned for family and friends, and someone to have an interesting and stimulating conversation with. After teaching, my legs and hips were getting achy and stiff from sitting on my bed for hours with my laptop, or a book to keep me going. I did walk in the mountains on a daily basis, talk to my “host” mother, and her family, but what I missed more than I realized were family and friends, my gym in California, and the sharing of interesting conversations. I am a “people” person and thrive on meeting and listening to others, not sitting alone for hours a day with a laptop as my best friend.

I am grateful to everyone who helped and supported me with my fundraising and the completion of my school renovation project. (only 17 days to get the roof repaired and wiring of 11 classrooms!)

I feel I’ve given, and done everything I could possibly do for my school, the children, and my community. Thanks to all the books, DVDs, clothing donations, shoes and school supplies that all of you were so kind to send to my school.

(Please note this is my personal experience and not that of the Peace Corps or other Peace Corps Volunteers.)

I’ve learned so much about myself, have grown so much stronger and way more assertive. I have no trouble saying “no” to things I don’t believe in or don’t want to do. There was so much I didn’t mention in my posts about the village gossip and jealousy, and problems at my school that I won’t get into here. One thing that I never expected, and I know I may be generalizing here, was the lack of gratitude I experienced. Many continue to expect everything to be given to them, without lifting a finger. It’s quite sad, and I’m reading an eye-opening book recommended by two friends who worked in different parts of Africa. It was written by an African author: Dead Aid. Why Aid is not working, and how there is a better way for Africa. Her name is Dambisa Moyo.

I think we are all geared to help others, but after being asked on a daily basis, “Give me money,” by children and adults, and being shoved by two people in a supermarket line in Maseru and told that I’m the one who should be grateful for helping the Basotho, not the other way around, I’ve become quite cynical about aid to Africa. I think the book explains the background, although I haven’t finished reading it. (I want to emphasize that this is my own experience, and may not be that of other Peace Corps Volunteers.)

I was also upset that after one year of teaching English and reading and computer skills, the children could not answer a simple question in Grade 7. Only one of my students out of 36, got a “first class” in the final exam. This means 60% or above. The rest got 30%-59% which is still considered a pass here. So in my opinion, the education is not improving in the rural areas, and I wanted them to do well. I’m not sure what the problem is; a lack of good nutrition? a lack of parental or grandparental involvement? a lack of interest? a lack of the basics in education? a lack of motivation? poverty and having to stay and help in the village after grade 7?

Anyway, I have no regrets, and after 15 months, I know so much more than I did before about life in the poor parts of Africa. I’ve changed, and I did make a small difference with a few of my students, so that’s why I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life.

I’m returning to Orange County, California, on January 17th, meanwhile I’m in South Africa, and then off to see my wonderful Dad and Jill in Paris. Here’s a glass of wine to celebrate my service in Lesotho.

I would like to continue blogging and am asking you for ideas.

What do you want me to write about on my blog now?

Specific topics from my experiences in Lesotho?
My search for a new job?
My online dating experiences as a middle-aged woman?
Any other ideas?
Nothing?

From Rice and Lentils to Salmon and Champagne

December 4, 2016 by Sonia Marsh 9 Comments

From rice and lentils to salmon and champagne, life is good in Paris.

I left my rural village in Lesotho, last week, flew to Johannesburg with a stopover in Abu-Dhabi and finally Paris.

It’s amazing how fast I’ve adapted to nice showers, a washing machine, a clean gym, and good food.

Jill, my Father’s wife celebrated her 80th birthday with 48 relatives and friends who flew in from Denmark, Italy, Brazil, and me from Lesotho.

catherine-and-jill — Jill and her daughter Catherine

We celebrated at “Le Fruit Defendu” the perfect restaurant for a cozy evening with a delightful Christmas feel located on the banks of the river Seine, west of Paris.

jills-empty-restaurant — Le Fruit Defendu

My charming, 91-year-old father, has not changed, still in good health, and I am always happy when I spend time with him and Jill.

They reserved the entire restaurant several months ago, and as soon as we entered, we enjoyed the inviting fireplace, candles, champagne, friendly guests and an evening of unforgettable speeches.

granddchildren-and-adrien-kissing-mormor — Jill and her grandchildren who made a great speech for her. A family picture.

An elegant three course meal started at 9 p.m., and ended at 12:30 a.m with an ice cream cake and “fireworks” as well as more champagne.

Jill's ice cream "fireworks" cake — Jill’s ice cream “fireworks” cake

I loved catching up with old relatives and friends, and in particular, Anette, a Danish friend who has read and commented on all my FaceBook posts about my life in Lesotho, and been very supportive.

My Danish friend Annette who knew my mother and we've stayed in touch. — My Danish friend Annette who knew my mother and we’ve stayed in touch.

It’s so strange to feel like you can be two different people, one in Lesotho, living a simple life with no luxuries, and another person enjoying the comforts of a western lifestyle.